Ginnungagap or Bust
Crossing the canyon of growthThe first few episodes of the third season of the Brady Bunch featured their trip to the Grand Canyon. It was a turning point in the show because it was filmed on location and also because the arch of the story was much more complex, multiple problems to overcome instead of just one. But what struck me as I watched them again last night with my kids was how wonderful family vacations used to be.
The road trips I remember to Colorado, Florida, and New Mexico are some of my favorite childhood memories. Much like the Brady’s we piled in a station wagon, or a Buick in later years, and drove for days and days. We sang song, played “road games”, make semi-truckers honk their horns and just had a great time. Then when we arrived we too, just like the Brady’s, posed for pictures, and bought souvenirs. It was wonderful to “get away” and travel and experience all that the vacation had to offer.
Vacations have changed. We may take trips now but rarely (if ever) are we disconnected. We post about our trip as it happens. We check our emails and text our friends. It’s one thing I’m working hard to change.
In Joshua Gibb’s book “How to Be Unlucky: Reflections on the Pursuit of Virtue” he tells of his “Hastings Years”. A period of time when he had enormous funds to spend on music at Hastings stores. Being a music lover and coming from a youth where he had to research CDs for weeks before committing to spending his money on one he thought he’d entered into heaven. But, as he learned, he instead lived in constant anxiety; always wanting what was “coming next” as though it was the only thing he’d ever wanted but never enjoying it when it arrived. It was the difference of seeking satisfaction over seeking pleasure. This idea is summed up nicely in the quote…
“One drink is just right,
Two is too many,
Three is too few.”
Gibbs goes on to say that the mark of maturity is in being able to make the jump from one level of knowledge of what is acceptable to another level before it is necessary. So a teenager that knows it is acceptable for a young man to be crass and dress in a disheveled way can observe older men who do not dress that way or act that way and realize that he too will one day have to meet those standards. A mature teenager will take hold of those things before they are forced upon him. A mature man who is engaged will begin to not spend as much free time on himself knowing that he will one day soon need to give time to his wife. A mature woman (or man) will do the same knowing that she (they) will one day have less time with children. There is always a jump across the chasm of one stage to another. It is when that chasm is crossed that growth happens. Much like in the grand canyon was a turning point for the Brady Bunch or how creation arose from Ginnungagap in the Norse myths. We must strive to always be increasing our true, inner selves. We must work now to become the people we want to be later. Otherwise we end up seeking only pleasure and are never truly satisfied.
For me, this means spending time in the present. It means reading more. Meditating more. Thinking about my future and preparing, and “practicing”, for my inevitable death one day. It means leaving social media and “smart phones” behind and learning to love every moment I’m given. This is my Ginnungagap. This is my Grand Canyon.